Here we are, October 10th, 2022. It’s two days before my 28th birthday, and I am sitting here reflecting on this year. Twenty-seven was such a pivotal age for me. Hands down, this year was the most transformational year of my life. The person who is typing this blog is totally different than she was a year ago.
Would you believe that one year ago on my birthday, I was in one of the worst mental, emotional, and spiritual places of my life? I was in a dark, dark place. I lived in Las Vegas. I spent my birthday there with no real plans, isolated away from almost all of my friends and family. I lacked a sense of purpose in life. I was burnt out from working as a nurse and afraid to work in a hospital setting again after fighting the front lines of the pandemic from coast to coast. I felt so distanced from so many of my friends and family. I felt distanced from myself. Certain relationships in my life were falling apart. I had no sense of self-worth. I was partying excessively, and I began to realize that I had picked up some terrible habits over the years and created an identity with being that “party girl”. I had no sense of spirituality. I felt so distanced from God, from the universe. I felt separate from everything. I craved connection from others and would seek it from the wrong people out of desperation, and my lack of self-worth only made this worse. I remember waking up each day feeling empty, hopeless, and so incredibly lost. I felt no different waking up on my 27th birthday.
I am currently writing a blog with more detail about the transformational journey I went through and what led to this “crash and burn” chapter of my life that ultimately prompted me to rise from the ashes and start a whole new journey. So, with that in mind I won’t spend too much time diving into all of that on this blog post. The real purpose of this blog is to truly express the fact that so much can change in one year. I also want to share a few really awesome intentional practices to implement during your birthday month that kick off a year full of amazing manifestations at the end.
I could probably write a novel about all of the things I did over the last year, but I will just list the main things.
-I started working with my life coach and business mentor
-Went on my first volunteer medical mission trip in the DR
-Paraglided for the first time
-Started going to therapy again
-Went to Coachella and EDC (also saw so many artists I’ve been wanting to see live this year including Disclosure, Flume, Swedish House Mafia, The Weeknd, to name a few)
-Traveled around the Croatian islands for Yacht Week and went to Mexico for a friend’s birthday
-Moved to two different cities for travel nursing (San Diego and Portland)
-Went sky diving TWICE (first time in Vegas, second time in Croatia)
-Joined the Fit For Service and went to my first spiritual music festival Arkadia which was amazing. Made a lot of great friends who I still connect with often.
-Learned how to E-Foil on Lake Tahoe which is now one of my favorite things to do when I have a chance to do it.
-Got closer to my family and reconnected with my friends.
-Started my own life coaching business with the help of my mentor. This is my true passion.
-Made spirituality a huge priority in my life and connected back with source and the universe
-Implemented a daily meditation and mindfulness routine and stuck with it.
-Started seeing a naturopathic doctor to improve my overall health and well-being
-Most of all, I am taking care of my mind, body, and soul. Even when it gets hard.
I am so proud of how far I’ve come. Looking at this list, I almost feel disbelief that I accomplished all of that when the thought of getting out of bed and facing each day was almost unbearable a year ago. If you are in a dark place in life, don’t give up. Ask the universe or God or whatever you identify with for help. Know that there are people who love you. Let your pride down, and reach out to people if you need help. It really takes one small change to light the path to many bigger changes down the line. This is why I am now using my journey to follow my true calling and passion of transformational life coaching and healing. I want to help others step into the path of their highest alignment and live their truest, fullest, and most authentic life.
I am looking forward to the future. I wake up each day feeling like I am living with purpose. No, life isn’t always easy. I still go through really tough times. I just went through a really tough month in September where I felt like I was hitting a breaking point. However, because I trust myself and take care of myself and follow my inner guidance and intuition, I trust that I will find the answers I need in life. I know I will get through the tough times because I have the tools to do so. I have support from myself, from the universe, from my guides, and from the wonderful people in my life. I am so grateful.
Over the next year, I have a lot of hopes and dreams. I see my business expanding, and I see myself reaching out and helping the wonderful souls that are drawn into my field and work with me. I am going to be starting the Quantum Coaching Academy in January which is a six month intensive coaching program where I will become certified as a Quantum Coach, nationally certified in success and life coaching, certified in neurolinguistic programming, emotional freedom techniques, and become a level 1 Reiki practitioner among other things. I also have more plans for international travel, fitness goals, and continuing to grow spiritually. I also want to continue to grow a community of friends in my life who are in alignment with the authentic me, and we can love and support and motivate each other. I also have some solid financial goals in the works. I made a beautiful vision board about a month ago that is hanging in my room with all of these wonderful visions and hopes for the future.
As much as it is fun to manifest and plan for the future, I believe it is important to not lose sight of the NOW. Now is truly all we have. And our thoughts and inner dialogue and vision are what create our current reality. I have learned over the last year to really be aware of what I am thinking and envisioning, and to not allow myself to be sucked into negative thought spirals. I am not 100% perfect at this by any sense of the word, but I do catch myself way more. I think part of the reason I was in such a dark place las year was because of my outlook on reality. That outlook did prompt me to change. If you feel you are in a bad place, you have the power to take that negativity and turn it into something constructive and positive. It’s not always easy, but it may also be easier than you think. Start with the small practices. Guided meditations save my life and bring me into the present moment and bring things into perspective. Be open to all of the possibilities of the universe. Be open to surprises or shifts in your life path that might be unexpected, but the best shifts for you. The universe is full of infinite possibilities. Do not ever think your current situation is your only situation.
When you feel lost and depressed and anxious, use these feelings as your greatest teachers. These feelings can be your inner guidance system letting you know that you are not aligned or living your authentic truth in life. Being aware of this means that you can flip this narrative for yourself and level up in life. Be your own light on the path of your life journey. The darkest times in life teach us the most. Never forget the saying “It is always darkest before dawn.”
On a lighter note, I wanted to share a few fun practices that you can use during your birthday month to set some good intentions for the year ahead. I personally love the energy I feel during my birthday month. I use that energy to make big moves in my life.
Here is a list of things to do during your birthday month to set the tone for the upcoming year:
-Write three intentions for the year. These can be as simple as “Be more mindful by starting a daily meditation routine” or “be more productive by taking three days a week away from social media” or “allow myself to enjoy life more by actually using my vacation time and planning some trips.” These are a few examples. Look at these intentions a few times a week to remind yourself and take action!
-Make a video to yourself talking about the last year and the big things you did, how you grew as a person, and where you traveled, etc. And use some of the video to talk about what you hope for in the next year so you can review these videos every year. I did this for the first time this year, and it was really awesome.
-Write a little love letter to yourself. This letter is for you. Don’t sugar coat it! Give yourself the love and self-acceptance you deserve. Read this letter from time to time to remind yourself.
-Spend a good chunk of time writing down all the things you are grateful for in your life currently and write another list of all of the things you are grateful for that will be happening over the next year. This is a powerful manifestation technique to harness the power of gratitude for things that haven’t happened yet!
-Write down 2 or 3 habits or things in your life you would like to change and one call to action for changing each of those. Keep this piece of paper in plain sight so you are reminded throughout the year to work on those habits, and take action!
As always, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you enjoyed this post and took some good ideas from it. Happy birthday to all my fellow Libras out there!
See things through my eyes for just a second: I am in a new town feeling the excitement and wonder that comes from moving to a new place. Every morning on my drive to work I am in awe at the sights around me. I have tried the new restaurants. I have mapped a new running route around the neighborhood. I have become acquainted with my new roommates and coworkers. I have made friends with other travel nurses who are also on an assignment in the area. Then one day when I walk out of work and I see the sun going down over the waterfront, suddenly a feel a twinge of loneliness. Suddenly, I feel like something is missing. I know this feeling all too well. The old familiar feeling of homesickness has struck me again.
There is no doubt that the life of a travel nurse is full of adventure and excitement. The opportunity to travel to a new state every few months and experience a whole new way of living rarely leaves life with a dull moment. However, the feeling of homesickness tends to pop up every once and a while, and it can leave you feeling a little down in the dumps for a few days.
On my first travel nurse assignment, I felt homesick all the time. I found myself missing the desert horizon, seeing the snow-capped mountains of Northern Nevada and craving the quaintness and safety of my small hometown where I grew up. I found myself missing the Las Vegas heat, the electricity of the city, the wild, crazy, and sensual energy that would fill the atmosphere on nights out. I missed lacing up my running shoes and driving five minutes to the river by my old house in Northern Nevada and running free on the sagebrush lined trails with my dog. I missed spending two hours in the bedroom in Las Vegas picking my outfit for the night out, making sure everything looked perfect, riding in the back of the Uber down the strip staring at the lights of all the hotels and casinos as if it were the first time I was seeing everything with that feeling of anticipation of what the night would hold.
I missed calling my mom any day of the week and hearing her voice say “I love you Peanut! Come over for dinner?” I miss being able to drive ten minutes to walk into my parent’s house and give my mom a hug. I miss seeing my mom dance around the kitchen to the sound of Fleetwood Mac playing on her little portable speaker as she stood by the back door. I miss seeing my dad hustle around the kitchen as he cooked another one of his delicious home-cooked meals. I miss seeing my brother walk through the door covered in grime from a day of working on cars yelling “Love you sis!”
I miss coming home to my friends after a long day of work and lounging on the couch, chatting about everything and nothing. I miss being able to call any of my friends and make plans to see them the same day. I miss watching them walk into my house one by one with excitement to spend the evening together, handing hugs out one after another. I feel that feeling that I’m where I belong, that I’m with my people, that I love them all so much. I miss those Las Vegas spring afternoons in the backyard of my friend’s house playing games, listening to music, and laughing about everything. I miss walking into my favorite brunch restaurant on a Sunday morning after a fun weekend off with friends and tasting that first sip of a mimosa with the sunshine in the air. The air feels different at home. It smells different. Anyone who has been far from home for a significant period of time can definitely say this is true. I can remember the way my parents’ house smells. I can remember the way the air feels when I get out of my car after a long drive to Vegas. I remember what the “coming home” feeling feels like. What a warm feeling it is to be home.
As a traveler, I will call a lot of places home in my life. But so many of these places are temporary. The true meaning of home is where your heart is and where your roots are. That can change as life goes on. My hometown will always have a piece of my heart although I do not truly live there anymore. That is where I grew up and actually spent most of my life, up until a few years ago. Vegas has become my second home, my adult home. I look at both places with a different kind of love and feeling, but I miss and long for both when those homesick feelings creep up on me when I am on a travel nurse job far away.
As time went on in my travel nurse career, homesickness did not show up quite as frequently as it did in the beginning. I think my experience from moving to gloomy Washington in the winter time for my first assignment did not help. I worked night shift and never saw the light of day between a hectic schedule and nonstop rain. It was also my first time ever moving out of my hometown, so it was a huge change for me. I literally took leap of faith and packed my whole life into my car to start a new job and new life on the road. Looking back I wish I would have been easier on myself. That is a difficult thing to do for anyone! It is normal to feel sad, uncertain, and scared. Back at that time in my life I retreated into my shell. I was not able to make the most of the experience. Within the first few weeks I had my mom fly out to visit me and within the first month I was already flying back to Vegas when I had a little stretch of days off. I spent a lot of time struggling with the change of being away from everything I knew– everything that was COMFORTABLE.
That’s the thing about being comfortable; comfortable is a place we can get stuck, a place we no longer evolve. It is okay to be comfortable for a while, but deep down I knew I had to push through the feelings of discomfort to grow and have the traveling experiences I always dreamed of. I think when I first started travel nursing I was so focused on what I left behind that I could not enjoy what was in front of me. I forgot about the present moment. Then when Covid hit hard in the spring of 2020 and I had to go out to the east coast to work on the frontlines of the Covid battlefield, I was really forced out of my comfort zone FAR away from everything I knew. At that time, I had to leave my dog behind with my parents in Northern Nevada along with most of my belongings and pack what I could into two suitcases for the next few months of my life. Oddly enough as I would run along the Hudson River in the evenings looking at the skyline of New York City ahead of me, I felt a new sense of freedom and exhilaration despite the fear and trauma I faced during my time out there. That time of my life was very defining and full of growth and pain, but it helped shift my focus into appreciating the present moment and not focusing so much on what was in my rearview mirror, figuratively speaking. If I would have focused on being homesick and missing everything that was familiar to me, I would have crumbled and broken down instantly when I was out there. This is just another lesson on how the hard times in life really bring a sense of clarity and make you stronger.
So, what have I learned from my experience of finally leaving my hometown and coping with feelings of homesickness? To answer that, so many things! There are so many things I wish I could have told myself two years ago and many things I want to tell new travelers, people thinking of making the big move from their hometown, or anyone who is far from home that feels homesick from time to time.
Firstly, it’s important to keep in mind that the pain of never taking the chance to do something great is much worse than the pain of leaving the familiar things in life behind. When I had those moments where I thought “Can I really do this travel thing anymore?” I always thought to myself that I would just go home, be comfortable again, and never know what could have been. I’ve had so many amazing experiences in the last few years that would have never happened if I would have gone back home. I would not be the person I am today if I did not keep traveling. I have done more and transformed more as a person in the last few years on the road than I have in all the other 24 years of my life. I could never settle with the thought of “what if?” I couldn’t fathom to think about one day down the road regretting the things I didn’t do.
Secondly, just remember that things in your hometown really are not going to change in drastic ways while you are gone. Every time I visit home, the first week or two I am always so happy to see everyone and be back. However, I begin to realize pretty quickly that most things remain the same. Life goes on, all your friends and family will continue on with their lives as normal. Don’t get me wrong, being away from my family and friends is by far the hardest part of being a traveler. I always think about my parents getting older and fear that my time with them becomes more valuable as life gets on because time is never guaranteed. I always fear missing out on big events happening in the lives of my friends. Sometimes I miss out on things I wish I didn’t because I am living far away and can’t make it home for everything. I just remember to live in the present moment and remind myself that in exchange I am experiencing new and wonderful things. In my travel contracts I always request off a long weekend off so I can make a visit home at least once. I also try to request some time off for my friends or family to come visit as well! I always love that they get to follow me to all the places I go and experience the best of life with me, even if it is for a short period of time. Also, remember that traveling gives you the flexibility to take long periods of time off between contracts. You can always plan your contracts around big events happening at home or the holidays. Luckily, we also live in the world of technology that allows us to video chat, call, or keep up with texts with loved ones. I make a point to call my parents once a week to catch up. I Facetime my friends back at home for a wine night every once in a while. While I was back in the East Coast, once a week my friends would plan a zoom meeting with me where we would have some drinks and catch up, and that honestly meant the world to me and kept me sane while I was out there. Sending texts a few times a week and just taking a small amount of effort to stay caught up with people makes you feel much more connected and much less far away.
Also, making an effort to make friends with other travelers or people in the area you’re staying helps a lot. Being lonely all the time makes it easier to sit with those feelings of homesickness rather than appreciate the new adventure you’ve embarked on. The MedVenture app is a great app designed for traveling healthcare professionals to connect. You can meet other travelers through this app, attend and host meet-ups with travelers, and share cool places to see and things to do in the area you are traveling. I have met so many of my friends through the MedVenture app. Just remember that other travelers are like-minded. They have also left their homes, experience the same feelings from time to time, but also have a love for adventure and meeting new people. I have never felt so accepted and welcomed as I do when I am around other travelers. I feel like I have met the type of people I jive with and fit in with.
Remember to take some time for self-discovery too. Meeting other people and making friends is fun, but being on the road offers an amazing opportunity to do things on your own and find new interests and discover new places. Some of my favorite moments in the last few years of traveling involved me and my dog taking the open road, hiking a new trail, seeing a new beautiful place on my own. There is no feeling more liberating and exciting in my opinion. I also love to take myself out to dinner at new restaurants or go out to a new bar or brewery on my own. I often meet locals and learn about cool spots to see and do around the area from the local’s perspective which is often better than the touristy stuff. Being on your own offers a different sense of peace. You are more aware of your emotions, you are able to work through your thoughts and grow. You are able to become a more open, compassionate, and understanding person because you have a better understanding of yourself. Self-discovery and alone time is where it’s at y’all! You will forget about being homesick when you are too busy evolving and seeing all the new and beautiful places this world has to offer!
Finally, take a few sentimental items from home with you on your travels. This tip may seem simple, but it really does make a huge difference in the end. I remember my friends got me a digital photo frame for my birthday before I left for my first travel assignment. The photo frame flipped through different photos of me and my friends from over the years. I keep it on my nightstand everywhere I go. I also have printed photos, cards, and notes from my friends and family that I keep in a small box and travel with. I look through it on days I’m feeling a little down. My mother got me a little stuffed bear before I left to be a travel nurse. She said to me “This can be your guy. Anytime you feel sad or lonely you can hold him close.” I know that seems a bit childish, but that bear sits in the front seat of the car everywhere I go and sleeps with me in bed at night and I always feel a sense of comfort and security. Also, if you have a pet or are thinking of getting one, definitely travel with your pet. My dog comes everywhere with me. She is my friend and companion in everything I do in life, and she definitely helps me feel less lonely.
I could probably write on for a long time about the things I have learned to help cope with homesickness, but it all comes down to a few things: Be present in the moment on your travels and appreciate your time and experiences on the road. Realize that home will always be there, no matter how far you are or how much time goes by. Remember that it’s easy to stay connected to everyone you love since we live in the age of technology and social media. And lastly, if you want to go home, remember that is always an option. If life becomes too much, home is always there. Make a trip or stay for a little longer if you need to. But don’t forget that amazing things happen outside of your comfort zone.
Hey everyone! It has been a while since I’ve been on here to write a blog post. I have a few other posts in the works right now, but for the last week or so, I just kept thinking it would be necessary to write a post kind off the topic of travel nursing, and maybe try write something a little more positive and intuitive given how crazy the world seems right now.
I’ll start off with a quick update though. I have taken a more local travel assignment, and I am currently about halfway through the contract. I am working float pool this assignment, which means I work in every unit around the hospital. I’ve been particularly grateful because I’ve gained quite a bit of ER experience on this assignment, which was an area of nursing I’ve never worked before. It has been stressful at times because it is definitely a different flow, but overall I’ve really enjoyed the experience. I have no idea where I will be going next. I figured I would see what kind of opportunities pop up closer to my contract end date which is toward the end of October. It has been nice to be closer to home though. Between my home town and Las Vegas, I’ve gotten valuable time with friends and family. The only downside is the smoke from all the fires. The air quality has been very poor from all of the fires burning in California. My thoughts are with everyone who has lost homes and land. A big thank you to all of the firefighters working overtime in such treacherous conditions.
I don’t want this post to dwell too much on the negatives. The whole point of this blog post is to take a lot of the negatives that we’ve experienced and shine them in a positive light. We can all agree that 2020 has been a crazy year. With the almighty “C” word (*cough* Corona *cough*), and everything else that has seemed to snowball onto 2020, we’ve seen some major changes in our personal lives and the entire construct of society.
I would like to get a bit personal here, and kind of share my experiences and thoughts in the hopes that some things can be relatable. The next few paragraphs may seem pretty gloomy, but there’s a good message that comes from all of this.
When I came back from the East Coast after working the Covid crisis out there, I was pretty blank. I was excited to get home, to start forgetting about some of the things I experienced, to be near my loved ones again, to be back in the sunshine of the West Coast. Mentally, I did not realize the psychological shit-storm (for lack of a better word) that was headed my way. It was comparable to dark and ominous storm clouds waiting on the horizon. I knew there were some tough emotions and thoughts tucked away, but they weren’t raining over my entire existence quite yet. I am no psychological expert here, but I remember a few things from my psychology and sociology classes back in college and a few snippets from books I’ve read over the years. When a person deals with trauma of any type, the brain tends to try and block it out and forget those images quickly as sort of a coping mechanism. This is what my brain was doing. I remembered a lot of details about my time back East, but a lot of those images just weren’t coming back as clear after I got back home.
I took about six weeks off after I got back. A lot of that time I spent running away from my thoughts. I didn’t know how to feel. I spent a lot of time outdoors, hiking, camping, etc. This wasn’t a bad thing, but I wasn’t dealing with things at all. I probably drank more than I should have and coped in the wrong ways. It is hard for me to admit this, but it is true. The more I tried to run away from my thoughts, the more they started racing. I couldn’t outrun them anymore. I was having weird dreams, things buried from my past were resurfacing, I was so anxious and feeding into the anxiety of the world. I was burying myself so deep in a dark hole. I thought no one would understand. I didn’t even know how to be. My existence felt blank and hopeless for a little while. A few of my friends noticed how different I was. But I didn’t know how to let anyone help me.
You might be thinking, “wow this post is pretty dark right now.” Well, I have to be honest about the darkness before I can get to the light. Maybe some of you are reading this and have experienced the same emotions. I remember thinking “I am such a positive person. For the most part, I’ve always been happy-go-lucky, full of energy and life. I know this is how people perceive me as well.” So, it made it harder for me to be honest with those who knew me how I felt. It’s hard to see a person who is normally so full of life admit that they are suffering in many ways. I didn’t want to put that burden on anyone. I would also like to note at this time I was extremely fatigued and it felt hard to motivate myself to do anything. At the time, I really didn’t understand why I felt like this, what was going on with me. That was another thing that made it so hard to open up to anyone else, because I did not fully understand myself.
Thankfully I’ve always had a strong head on my shoulders, and I knew something was terribly wrong. I knew I had to face myself, face my thoughts and emotions, gain a sense of control over my mind, because the way I was living would not be sustainable for much longer. So, I started slow. I started doing guided meditations everyday. I logged off social media at least 3-4 days out of the week. I read books with positive messages that taught me different ways of thinking, that showed me that reality doesn’t have to be a terrible place. I faced the trauma bottled up from my experiences in the East Coast and let myself cry and feel the sadness. I let myself slowly open up to the ones I care about, not to place the burden on them, but just to let them be there for me. I am a true believer of fighting your own battles, that no one can really save you but you. But I also believe that it is imperative to get help when you need it. It’s okay to open up and let someone give you a hand or shine a light in the darkness to help you get back on the right path. It is not a bad idea to see a counselor, which is something I had truly considered doing. I have seen therapists in the past for other things which helped a lot.
I have to say out of all of the things I did to pull myself out of the hole, the meditation was the most-life changing, and I dedicate myself to meditating 10-15 minutes a day or more if I can. I use the app Headspace which has such a huge variety of guided meditations, techniques for controlling thoughts and emotions, positive messages, etc. I highly, highly recommend this app to anyone. It does have a fee for subscription, but honestly it’s not that expensive and your mental health is so worth the small price to pay. I was one of those people that had heard about the benefits of meditation, but I was never able to quite fathom the idea of sitting there and thinking about nothing. Well, the app leads you through techniques, and it’s not really about thinking about nothing, but controlling the way you give attention to thoughts and feelings, etc. There are probably other great apps out there as well, and I know there are plenty of guided meditation videos on youtube, I just thought Headspace was by far the best.
Anyway, I don’t want to go on and on about my personal journey, I just wanted to explain those emotions I went through that had to occur for me to get to the place I am right now, which is much better. Am I 100% perfect yet? No. I don’t know if 100% will ever be possible, but that’s okay. Bad feelings are a part of life, and so are tough experiences. They make the good feelings and experiences so much more appreciated. I still have harder days, but I continue to remind myself “This is normal. This is okay. But this is not your entire reality.”
So, when I finally was able to get to a better place, I realized all the lessons that were hiding above the storm clouds the entire time. I just had to work through the storm, let it pass, and appreciate a new view of life waiting. So, here are the things that 2020 has taught me or all of us. Because I do believe that most of us can relate to at least a few of these lessons. Let’s remember every cloud has a silver lining. And that lining is from the sun and blue skies waiting behind.
Appreciate the small things. I think this is one of the biggest lessons we can take away. When Covid came along, stripped us of our normal ways of living, kept us away from our friends and all the exciting things we used to do, heck even some of the normal things like going to school, or eating at a restaurant, we really saw that the smallest things could brighten our day. Small things like talking on the phone with a friend, waving at a stranger from afar, watching a funny video on the internet, reading a good book. These are just examples. I remember when I was back East, every few weeks I would have a zoom meeting with my friends back home. I would go through a tough work week and look forward to that zoom meeting so much. It was the highlight of my life. We would virtually share some drinks, catch up, laugh. Just to see their faces and have a good time meant the world to me. A simple zoom meeting helped me get through. Thank God for modern technology. Couldn’t imagine how hard it would have been without facetime and zoom.
Never take anything for granted. Tomorrow is never promised. Practice gratitude. Ain’t this the truth? I never imagined a day where most of the luxuries or even normal day-to-day things would be stripped from life. Again, things like going to a restaurant, going to the gym, meeting up with friends, dressing up and going to see my favorite DJ at the club (there’s the Vegas in me coming out), seeing live music, etc. Things we never thought we would be without. Things that made life exciting, things to look forward to after a rough work week. For a lot of people, things like having a job. So many people got laid off and were so scared for their futures. I saw so many people lose loved ones to the Coronavirus. At least I have a roof over my head, at least I have a job, a healthy body. At least the people who mean so much in my life are healthy and alive, at least I have great parents and friends. Things could always be worse. I find it helpful to focus on what you have rather than what you don’t. This doesn’t mean compare yourself to others or feel guilt because your situation doesn’t seem so bad. It’s okay to feel upset, sad, etc. But don’t let those emotions overtake you for long. Remember that there’s a lot of good to focus on.
Disconnecting is good sometimes. We live in the age of technology. We can connect with our friends instantly, information is available right at our fingertips. Social media has become a huge part of most people’s lives, but too much is not a good thing. There’s a lot of good things about social media like connecting with far-away friends and family, sharing good messages, sharing fun things in life, etc. Social media was huge in staying connected with our friends during the quarantine period. But unfortunately, social media can be a messenger of false information. It can be a place to feed into the feelings of anxiety and negative messages of others, especially during 2020 in such turbulent times. People often forget that negative energy is very contagious. Sharing feelings of anger, spreading biased (and often non-fact-based information) can really influence a massive amount of people in the worst way. People become addicted to social media, and the accounts they follow and the information they are constantly looking at becomes their reality. Wake up. There’s a bigger picture here… Social media is not 100% reality. Neither are a lot of the things found on the internet. It’s good to turn off the notifications on your phone, exit the social media world, and gain a sense of clarity. Not to mention, what a time-waster it is. Think of all the skills you could pick up or things you could accomplish in that time you mindlessly scroll through the feeds. Everything is good in moderation. And when you are on social media, maybe start sharing more positive things. The world could use it more than ever. You have the ability to brighten so many people’s days. As my mother used to tell me, “you attract more bees with honey than vinegar.”
Appearance isn’t everything. Take care of your physical and mental health. This is a huge lesson. I think we all kind of realized physical appearance wasn’t so important while we were stuck at home, gyms were closed, and we couldn’t go anywhere. I know I thought “who was I trying to impress before?” Don’t get me wrong, I spend time and money on my appearance, and I enjoy looking my best. But my best isn’t the same everyday, and I’m not going to hate on myself and put myself down like I did before. Suddenly when there was no going out or having to impress anyone, I realized how stupid that was and maybe how unhealthy it was to be so tough on myself about appearances. I am so glad I learned this lesson. Suddenly my mental health became more important. Loving myself for who I am became more important. And then realizing I need to take care of my body better. I need to get more sleep, manage my stress, drink less, hydrate more, and make sure I am always taking care of myself mentally.
Do your part in taking care of the planet. Yeah, I am definitely going to mention this one and this really should be a priority for everyone. When Covid hit and people had to stay inside, I was really shocked at the positive environmental changes seen in such a short period of time. Smog disappeared from the skies of big cities. Unfortunately, since people were unable to go to restaurants, I feel there was a lot more plastic and paper usage from take-out. We just have to be aware of these things. Start small by reducing your waste and being aware of how much you do waste, recycle everything you can, use less plastic and paper, only buy reusable products, become more of a minimalist, reduce your footprint on this Earth, walk or ride a bike when you can instead of driving (good for you physically too)! We have to take care of our planet. In light of all the fires in California, we are seeing how environmental changes are really affecting us. We need to wake up to this.
It’s okay to re-evaluate life and your goals. Get back on track. Obviously, we all had a lot of times to sit with ourselves and think about life. Maybe this downtime away from all the normal day-to-day excitement was the perfect time for us to think about what direction our lives were headed. I know before I was slacking off more, wasting my time. I took a break from school, I wasn’t achieving any of the goals I made for myself. This time of reflection offered an opportunity for me to get back in check, to improve myself, to become a better person.
Overthinking is toxic. Although it is good to think about things, we can often become twisted in the never-ending knot of our thoughts. We feel there is no way to filter through them. We continue to think to the point where it is toxic. Going back on lesson #6, we had a lot more time to sit with our thoughts. This was beneficial in a lot of ways, but when we think too much we create a false reality. We become anxious. We can become depressed. I will preach meditation again, because this is the ultimate cure for overthinking and having control over your mind and emotions. Overthinking is not good. I think all of us do it more than we realize. I would recommend listening to or reading “What is Reality?” by Alan Watts. The song “Overthinker” by INZO incorporates “What is Reality?” really nicely as well.
Nothing is guaranteed. So live your life. Be happy. Spread positivity. I know this is hard to fathom at a time like this. I know in America especially with everything going on, some days you wish you could get on a spaceship and blast off of this planet. But we are here, and we are here for a reason. So let’s make our reality a good one. We don’t always know what will happen from day to day. Truly, nothing is guaranteed. So when things start returning to more normalcy (which they have started in a lot of ways), just really enjoy your life. Don’t spend too much time wallowing in the negative emotions like anxiety, anger, sadness, uncertainty. Those emotions are not sustainable, and eventually you will be left with nothing. Try to remember there are so many good things in the world. I hate that a shadow is so much more powerful then the sunlight sometimes. I hate that people forget there are blue skies behind the clouds like I mentioned before. I have been one of those people. We have the ability to do so much good, to learn so many things, and to make this world a better place. There are way more good people in the world than bad. This is a tough time, but it will not last forever. The pattern will break soon. Life will go on. Things will change for the better. We will heal. Keep believing and doing your part to spread the positive message. I feel like I’ve seen so many messages of fear, anxiety, anger, and hopelessness spread. I understand this completely. But to continue this way of thinking will get us nowhere but buried deep into a hole that will be nearly impossible to get out of. Let’s start lifting each other up again. Don’t be so immediate to judge another person. We are all fighting our own battles no matter how big or small. We are all going through things we may not even share. We all deserve love and respect. We are all united. Love your neighbor. Help a stranger. Go above and beyond. This inspiration will spread like a massive wave. We need it.
I want to take this time to thank everyone who has reached out to me to check up, who has made plans with me and taken time to talk about life and all my experiences with me. I would also like to thank everyone who takes the time to read my blog. I’m not sure how many people do, and it doesn’t matter to me if it’s 3 people or 100. I really do enjoy sharing my thoughts and experiences. I am often shocked when people walk up to me or message me saying they enjoyed reading. This makes me so happy. I have every intention of posting more, but it does sometimes take several days or hours for me to write a blog post, which takes a lot of energy. I have been back in school, I’m taking time to finish learning Spanish, and I have been back at the gym with a personal trainer several times a week in addition to working full time. So, often I write these posts over a course of a few days when I have time.
I appreciate all of you more than you could ever know. And I wish nothing but happiness and peace in everyone’s lives.
I’m looking at this computer screen, and I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve probably written and re-written parts of this blog over and over again. I’m looking at the corner of my computer screen, and I see five drafts for this one blog post. I don’t think there will ever be a perfect way to write this out, so bear with me. I debated even writing it to begin with because people are probably so tired of hearing the word “Coronavirus.” I thought to myself “who would actually read this or even care at this point?” I’m not much of a writer to begin with, so I don’t even know what direction to take this… However, with Coronavirus cases spiking up again in many parts of the United States, including my own home state, I feel that it is important to share my story of when I worked in the East Coast so maybe people will have a better understanding of how serious this is.
So, here’s my story.
In the middle of April I found myself on a plane looking down at the massive skyscrapers of New York City. The airport was empty when I arrived, and the overall feeling of my new home for the next few months was nothing short of ominous. I crossed the George Washington Bridge to New Jersey just across the Hudson from NYC. Coronavirus cases flooded this area and hospitals were begging for help. Travel nurses, doctors, and respiratory therapists had been flying across the country for weeks to help in any way. As I arrived at my apartment, my travel nurse friend who had been working in New Jersey for a few weeks greeted me outside. I could see the exhaustion in her eyes. At dinner that night, she and the other travel nurse roommate began to prepare me for the chaos I was about to walk into, giving me advice on how to treat the patients and catch the signs of deterioration quickly.
A few days later I found myself walking to the hospital I was assigned to for an abbreviated orientation. Three hours of computer training and then seven hours shadowing a nurse on the floor. That was the only orientation there was. These were desperate times and they needed us travelers on the floor helping as soon as possible. During my orientation shift, I donned my surgical scrubs, face shield, N-95 mask with a surgical mask on top, hair bouffants, and gowns. The nurse I shadowed looked at me with desperate eyes and states “Get ready for codes, rapid responses, and intubations to be a regular part of your shifts. We have even walked into rooms and found dead bodies.” I was shaking on the inside. That shift we called a rapid response on a patient who was declining quickly. My preceptor nurse taught me how to prep for a patient to be intubuated and ventilated. The ICUs are so over-loaded that ventilated patients will often stay on med/surg floors for extended periods of time.
A few days later as I walked to work in the evening for my first shift on my own, I was terrified. I questioned a million times if I could do it. I mentally prepared myself to see a lot of death, to do whatever I could to save people and just keep them alive. The words that nurse told me played back in my head like a horrific broken record “…we have even walked into rooms and found dead bodies…”
As a traveler, I floated to all of the units in the hospital. The first week I was on the Progressive Care Unit, which is a step-down from the ICU. All of the patients were very critical. The entire hospital was filled with Coronavirus patients. I took six patients on a step-down unit. Each room was turned into a double room to cohort two Covid patients each because there was such an extreme need for beds with the hospital being flooded with Coronavirus. I felt like I couldn’t keep my head on straight. We were told to bundle care and limit our exposure, to stay out of the patient’s rooms as much as possible. Most of the patients were so critical that they couldn’t get out of bed and move or their oxygen saturation would drop alarmingly low (when it should be greater than 90%).
Many patients became delirious from lack of oxygenation. Patients would be on high flow nasal cannula maxed out on oxygen with a non-rebreather mask on top and the oxygen saturation would still be dropping and you would see them breathing fast and struggling. Doctors and residents were reluctant to intubate many of the older patients because they knew these patients would never come off the ventilator. Even worse, no visitors or family members were allowed in the hospital in order to prevent the spread of the virus, so patients had to go through this without their loved ones. Many died only with the nurses and doctors by their side.
Families didn’t understand the impact this virus was having on their loved ones. I recall many phone calls with family members asking me questions like “Are they getting better? I’m so worried.” I remember crying with a patient’s daughter over the phone. I had to explain to families over the phone all the time “Well, your loved one is requiring more oxygen and is still having a hard time. We are doing everything we can to take care of them and get them better but there’s no way of knowing what will happen.” I imagined if it were me sitting on the other side of the phone hearing that. I would think “what kind of answer is that? I need to know if my loved one is okay!” But this was all so new… I remember looking at the faces of experienced doctors and seeing the uncertainty and fear in their eyes. Those are the people who we count on to have the answers, but truth be told they were figuring things out day by day, little by little, and to this day not everything is known and there still is no definite treatment plan that will work for everyone.
I treated patients with the hydroxychloriquine, Remdesivir, and antibody plasma infusions. Can I truly say what worked best? No. Everyone reacted differently to treatments. Some patients improved while others did not. Patients were given a plethora of vitamins, melatonin, zinc, steroids, antibiotics since Covid caused pneumonia. Coronavirus is insidious. It caused people to have blood clots in their bodies which could be in the lungs or brain causing strokes or pulmonary emboli. Every Covid patient was on blood thinners, usually through injections or drips.
I remember talking to doctors and residents, looking at their exhausted faces, and seeing the uncertainty in their eyes. This was a disease process the world had never seen before. It seemed like each day we were learning more, but each day brought more uncertainty. Covid was spreading like wildfire, and so many people were dying. I remember there were nights I would see up to five body bags rolling down the hall to the body trucks. I remember nights where I would hear rapid responses and codes called overhead constantly. I never performed more CPR than in those few months. The body trucks were a real thing. One night after one of my patients coded and did not survive, I had to help the transporter take the body down to the body truck. It is an image forever ingrained in my mind of bodies in white body bags stacked on shelves. I wish would have never seen it. You hear about these things, but when you actually see them, it scars you in a different way.
Recalling all of these memories brings me to tears as I type these words. It’s something I’ve left behind me in the last month since I’ve been on vacation, but I’m digging these memories up in a deep place within me because I know this is important for people to read even if it is morbid and a bit horrifying to think about. I remember walking home from work after horrible shifts feeling blank. I would walk inside the apartment, wipe everything down with bleach wipes, take a shower, look at myself in the mirror and see the pure exhaustion on my face. I didn’t even recognize the person on the other side of the mirror. I was completely detached sometimes. I didn’t even know how to talk to anyone about it. I would try and talk to my friends, but I felt like it was just too terrible and traumatizing. I didn’t want to burden the people I love, and I just felt no one would truly understand. My travel nurse friend that I stayed with was my biggest support because I knew she could relate since she was working in it as well. There were times I would cry to her, but most of the time we were too exhausted to bring it up and talk about it.
I felt so guilty that I couldn’t be there more for the patients. It was just so overwhelming and there were so many patients. I felt so horrible that these patients were scared and alone and behind closed doors. I felt bad when I couldn’t tend to their every need. I felt bad that I didn’t have the time or capability to be a better nurse. There were so many patients and so much to deal with that the main focus became life or death matters. We had to keep them alive. But I cared so much about each and every one of them, I felt their fear, and my heart ached for everything they were going through… and to be alone, without family and friends. I cried in the bathroom, I cried on my walks home, I would sometimes wake up on my days off crying. There were parts of me that wished I could turn off my emotions and feel nothing because it would have been so much easier. But I never lost my compassion. I couldn’t imagine not caring for these poor people.
When dealing with these emotions, days off were important. I worked 50+ hours a week on graveyard shift. 13-14 hour shifts were the normal. Keep in mind we wore the N-95 masks with all of the surgical masks on top, gowns, gloves, etc. for that long as well. I didn’t have a car, so I walked to and from work. Days off were spent in the apartment. The occasional trip to the grocery store was the most excitement there was. I was too afraid that I could be infected and infect other people. In New York and New Jersey masks were required to be worn by everyone in public places, and you would be kicked out of a store if you came without a mask. I did end up renting a bike and riding through New York City one day which was a good adventure and helped me get out of my shell for a bit. What an experience to ride through the city with no traffic. I would also go on runs along the Hudson and do home workouts in the living room to blow off some steam. I would listen to my meditative music, and pray to the universe and the higher power that is out there. I would do anything I could to find strength within myself.
I made sure to take care of myself in any way I could. Of course I was scared to get sick. I was across the country, away from my family. Even though I am young and healthy, I didn’t want to risk infecting my roommates either. I took lots of vitamins and made sure to eat healthy and most importantly get enough sleep. I think that really prevented me from getting sick in the long run.
I know this post has been pretty negative and morbid so far, but it has been entirely realistic. People ask me all the time about the age group of patients I saw most. Most people assume the elderly. I actually saw a lot of people in their 40’s and 50’s. I even treated people in their 30’s and a few in their 20’s. Most people would assume Coronavirus is a respiratory illness since so many end up on a ventilator, but it really isn’t. People who are infected with minor Coronavirus really don’t experience too many respiratory symptoms at all. Fever, fatigue, loss of taste, maybe dry cough and shortness of breath are common in minor cases. However, in the major cases, people’s immune systems either go into overdrive or cannot compensate. This leads to a secondary infection like pneumonia which leads to septic shock, multi-organ failure (kidneys, liver, lungs, etc). The way the disease process progresses is different for each patient. Obviously the elderly or people with compromised immune systems are more at risk. But I did see a lot of people with no previous known medical history come in with severe cases and even end up ventilated.
I ended up working in the ICU quite a bit since there was such a shortage of ICU nurses. Essentially, they would send travelers and other med/surg nurses into the ICU to help the ICU nurses. This is where I learned to care for ventilated patients. I remember seeing patients on ventilators for weeks at a time, some even going into surgery to have a tracheostomy tube placed since they would never be able to breathe on their own again. They would get permanent feeding tubes surgically placed as well. Coronavirus causes permanent damage to the lungs in many cases. I was always happy to see when patients were preparing to be extubated (taken off the ventilator to breathe on their own again.) I remember one case in particular where the patient was a male in his 40’s and had been on a ventilator for a few weeks. He was improving, was off sedative medication, and they were going to extubate him the following morning. He was fully aware of what was going on. Although he couldn’t talk with the breathing tube down his throat, he communicated with me by nodding and shaking his head. I could tell he was anxious. Who wouldn’t be in a situation like that? I had the opportunity to stay with him most of the night and keep him calm. I reassured him that he was doing well, he would soon be off the ventilator and breathing on his own, and the road to recovery would begin. My triple-gloved hand held his. I found out that he loved The Beatles, so I sang some of my favorite Beatles songs to him throughout the night. I’ll never forget that night because it was the first time I saw some light in the darkness and hope that people could get better.
I saw a 92 year old intubated and then extubated a few days later. He ended up being discharged a few days after that. I saw people in the hospital for weeks, some who I thought wouldn’t get better suddenly turn the corner and rapidly improve. A lot of patients were discharged home with oxygen tanks, but I saw a lot of people make a full recovery. Each time a patient was discharged, the hospital would play “Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles overhead. The hospital stays for these patients were a few weeks on average which is much longer than what is typical.
Towards the end of my assignment, things were a lot better. The hospital was starting to switch back to normal. I saw the makeshift ICUs shut down until the hospital was back to one ICU. The post-op floor was completely cleaned and sanitized for a week and opened back up to welcome non-Covid patients. Each patient was tested before admission. It was crazy to see the transition from all Covid back to a semi-normal operation. We finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I was ready to come back home to the west coast. I couldn’t remember what life was like. I ended up getting the swab test and the antibody test upon my return, and both were negative.
I think there were definitely a few factors that were important in considering why parts of the East Coast like New York and New Jersey were hit so hard. Firstly, there is a very large population of people out there. New York City is a major travel destination. There are a lot of people living in a very condensed space. Secondly, the East Coast is very ethnically diverse. A lot of cultures are more family oriented, so multi-generational households are common. Lastly, rent is expensive out there, so there may be a lot of people living in one household. I saw a lot of cases where one person in a household got infected at work and would bring it home to the entire house, and so a parent or grandparents got infected and ended up in the hospital. With so many people becoming deathly ill from this, the healthcare system was flooded. This could easily happen anywhere. I know for a fact our healthcare system cannot handle so many people getting seriously ill from this. How could you prepare for such a disaster? No one saw this coming.
I want to take a moment to thank all of the staff at the hospital I worked at for welcoming us travelers and being so remarkable. I just want to bring to everyone’s attention the fact that these nurses, doctors, CNAs, RTs, etc. who work at these hospitals in the East Coast are the true heroes. They worked this crisis from the very beginning before anyone knew what it was, before we knew what kind of PPE to wear, before there was any help from the travelers. I know that more than half of the staff at the hospital I worked at ended up sick, and a few even lost their lives. My hat truly goes off to these wonderful people. They were the hardest working and most compassionate people I every worked with, and we all came together in such dark times. I had a choice to go out there as a traveler and help out, and that makes me fortunate. I am forever humbled and absolutely changed because of this experience. I’ve become a better nurse and person overall, and I hope to never take my health for granted. I am so grateful that my family and friends all remained healthy, and I am very thankful for all of the support from my loved ones. Thank you for the kind and loving phone calls, texts, and care packages sent out with N-95 masks, food, etc.
As dark as a time as it was, I know that I was meant to be there. It was hard to leave my dog and my entire life at home, pack two suitcases, and fly into the middle of a disaster. However, I am a nurse. This is my job. I feel so honored that I was in a position to be able to help in any way I could. A big thank you to my wonderful parents for taking good care of my pup Athena while was gone.
This blog post has been pretty long so far. I do plan to write another blog post on the aftermath of working the crisis and some of the things I’ve experienced since being home. I don’t want to get political or too opinionated. For those of you who are reading this who may have thought this was a hoax or wasn’t real, I hope this gives you some perspective. I try to remain compassionate at all times, even when I receive backlash from people or when people want to argue with me about this. I don’t really even engage in arguments because I can’t waste my energy. Everything I have written in this post is 100% true. It is hard to understand when you haven’t been through it or when you haven’t lost someone close to you. Or perhaps you live in a place where it really hasn’t gotten bad, much like my hometown. How could you quite grasp the severity when you haven’t been there? I know before I arrived in the East Coast, I didn’t quite understand either.
But let me leave you with this: Just because you haven’t seen something or haven’t been through it, does not mean it isn’t real. Coronavirus is here and it is here to stay. A vaccine is on the way and hopefully one day we will have definitive treatment and life can go on. But right now, this is the situation. Protect your neighbor, think of other people, and take this chance to reflect on how you can be part of the solution. Simple things such a washing your hands, wearing your mask in public, avoiding crowds as much as possible, etc. I do believe life must go on. I don’t think shutting everything down and destroying the economy is the answer. I think that each of us doing the above things I mentioned can go a long way.
Although this summer has been a lot different, I hope everyone is taking time to themselves, disconnecting every once in a while, and doing things that you enjoy in a safe manner. The world is crazy right now, but don’t forget that there is still a lot of good. Life continues to go on. Take care of yourself physically and spiritually. We are a part of history right now. And I have seen so many good things in humanity throughout all of this. That is what I focus on.
Thank you for taking the time to read. Stay safe and healthy. Many blessings.
I hope each and every one of you is doing well during this time. I know the world seems to get crazier and crazier by the day. It’s hard to even tune into all of it because it all seems to be too much sometimes. I don’t think any of us really expected things to turn out like this, and we are all coping with it differently. My heart goes out to everyone!
I figured I would write a post about the experience I’ve had as a travel nurse while the Coronavirus pandemic has been going on. I am currently here in the Bay Area of California, and started my travel job last week. This was a job I accepted just about a week or two before the Coronavirus outbreak really became widespread. Unfortunately, the other day I received news that my contract with this hospital has been canceled because the hospital is overstaffed. How can this be? Well, since elective surgeries have been canceled to provide more ventilators for Covid patients in need, many hospitals have been forced to close down their surgical units. Most outpatient surgical centers have been closed down, and other outpatient clinics where nurses work have limited hours or have completely closed down during this crisis. At my particular hospital, two units have been completely closed. So, all of the nurses who normally work those floors or work in outpatient settings need jobs. They come and work the medical and telemetry floors that are still taking patients in the hospitals. Obviously, a hospital is going to keep their staff nurses and cancel the contracts with the travelers. Thousands of travel nurses are losing jobs right now.
Yes, the Coronavirus is widespread, and there is still a huge need for travel nurses and other healthcare workers, especially in those locations that are facing enormous volumes of Coronavirus cases. Many hospitals are converting surgical units into Coronavirus only units right now to keep those patients separate from others to prevent the spread. There is a huge lack of personal protective equipment (PPE) like masks and gowns, and even disinfectant wipes are being rationed. I know where I’ve worked, we get one surgical mask or N-95 mask per shift. I’ve heard some hospitals are even changing that to one per week. Obviously, the risk for exposure becomes much higher without the proper resources.
It is a very scary time to be on the front lines of all of this. It’s even scarier for family members and patients during this time. There are no visitors allowed in hospitals. Patients are having to cope with illness without family members, and a lot of people are not even allowed to be present as their loved ones pass away.
Other patients with chronic conditions or lesser illnesses are being pushed to the sidelines because Covid patients take priority right now. A lot of healthcare workers are working overtime with limited resources.
I know many people are out of jobs right now, many have families to feed, bills to pay, and are scared for the future. My heart goes out to all of you. I never thought that as a nurse, I would be without a job right now either. Luckily, the hospital is giving me a little bit of notice and letting me work for the next week and a half before they cut me loose. That gives me a little bit of time to get my ducks in a row. However, finding a job right now isn’t as easy as it seems, especially if I wanted to stay in California. There are a lot of crisis jobs, but there are a lot of travel nurses who are in the same situation as me, and are scrambling to find a job. As soon as these jobs hit the market, there are hundreds of applicants submitting for positions available. The staffing coordinators or managers are picking out the first applicants who meet the qualifications. All other applicants fall into the abyss and their applications may never be seen.
There are locations where I could instantly get a job right now. New York and New Jersey, and even parts of the mid-western united states have a dire need for nurses. However, these jobs would need to be started immediately. Essentially, I would have to pick up my life and go. I would need to leave my dog with my parents for a few months, take most of my stuff back to my storage unit, pack a suitcase or two, and start the job within a week or two. It’s very hard for me to think of leaving my dog and my life, going to the epicenter of this crisis, facing conditions that are unknown to me at this time, taking care of who knows how many patients in more critical conditions, all while being constantly exposed. Also, there would be hardly any orientation for these jobs. Most nurses are instantly thrown on the front-lines. This is terrifying for me to think about.
I know this blog post has been a lot of bad news so far. I just want to tell the truth about how things are right now. With that being said, I don’t want to lose perspective that there still are good things in this world. During a time like this, it is ESPECIALLY important to see the light in even the small things. I am grateful that I am still healthy, that my friends and family are healthy, and that I do have options in a time like this. I could go back home and my parents would take me in until I figure something out. I have a little bit of money saved up to make it through a month or two if I couldn’t find a job. I have friends and family who I love, and I know they love me and care about me. I can’t adequately express my appreciation to my friends who have always supported me, who continue to reach out to me and check up on me during this time. We all need to be checking up on each other during this time.
We all need to remember that there are still good things happening in this world. In times of crisis, it seems the world comes together (even if we are physically distanced). We are extremely lucky to live in the age of technology where there are still ways to see and communicate with friends and family, there are ways to shop online, order food from your phone, etc. Last night, used Zoom to have a virtual happy hour with my friends back at home, and it raised my spirits so much. There are a lot of resources out there to keep us all in touch. And there has been so much outreach from communities to aid in this crisis. I see automobile companies building ventilators, people sewing masks and donating them to hospitals, younger people going shopping for elderly people who don’t want to risk being exposed. So many good things outshine the bad things going on. Do not lose perspective.
And if any thought can bring you comfort, just remember that this won’t last forever. We need to follow the rules, stay inside as much as possible, and keep the six feet of distance when you do have to leave the house. Getting outside and taking walks and hikes is good, but don’t do it in groups! That defeats the whole purpose of the social distance thing. Only stay with people in your household. We have to stop the spread of this. This will save lives and this will get us back to our normal lives faster. After all of this, our perspectives will change for the better. We will never take for granted the things that were so normal about our everyday lives. Things like not waiting in line to go into the grocery store, meeting up with friends at a restaurant for happy hour, being able to hug your friends, being able to book a trip and get on an airplane and go. We are extremely blessed to have those luxuries in life, and although they may not have seemed like luxuries before, we can certainly see them that way now.
Stay strong, my friends. I will try to do the same. I’ve woken up this last week with mixed emotions. I really hit some low points, I’ve had some breakdowns, I’ve said prayers to God and the universe and asked for direction, asked why this is happening in the world… I sat on the phone crying to my best friend saying “What am I going to do? Why does this keep happening to me? One good thing happens, I get a job, I settle down somewhere, and then I am back to square one.” I have felt like I’m losing myself, I have no sense of direction, and more than ever I have felt uncertain about what will come of my life next. I really try and stay strong, and again, I just try to keep focusing on the things I do have in life. It could be worse. It could always be worse. But that doesn’t always make things easier. This may be a low point for me, but I can only hope that things will look up, and I will take so much pleasure and gratitude in the small victories from now on.
Stay safe, stay healthy, stay inside. Let’s all come out stronger.
Hello! It’s been quite a while since I’ve hopped on here to write a blog post. I feel as if I have emerged from the shadows. The few months have been crazy and unexpected to say the very least.
To begin, I completed my first travel assignment in Washington at the end of January. I obviously decided not to extend my contract there. Washington was a beautiful place. For the most part, I had a good experience at the hospital I worked at. I floated to other units a lot, picked up a decent amount of overtime hours, and thought the staff I worked with was helpful and very friendly. However, my schedule was very difficult to manage and live as a functioning human being. As mentioned in previous blog posts, I worked graveyard shift for the last assignment. Previously, I had worked day shift at my old staff job for the last year, so it was a big change for me to go back to that type of schedule. My schedule was not in any way consistent, and my work days were often scattered with no more than two consecutive days off at a time most weeks. This became impossible for me by the end. Essentially, I was living my life only on a graveyard shift schedule.
My physical health suffered because I was exhausted all the time, no matter how much sleep I got. I wasn’t going on runs or working out. As a result, my mental health suffered as well. I felt like I was living in darkness. It made me feel anxious and depressed most of the time. The dreary climate of Washington did not make anything better. I swear it did not stop raining for a month, and I would go weeks without seeing the light of day. I grew up in the desert sun with endless blue skies, so obviously going so long without any sunlight took its toll on me. I spent a lot of time reading books in the middle of the night, watching Netflix on my nights off, and counting down the days until I could see sunlight again. Because my schedule was so inconsistent, my friends and family were never able to visit me, and because it was raining all the time, I was never able to go outside. All of these factors added up to me leaving after three months when my contract ended.
It sounds like I am having a pity party for myself at this point. What good could have come out of this? Well, I try and see the good in everything, although things were pretty grey for a while. I was able to take time to read books on subjects I was interested in. I was able to take time and reflect on life and other things I needed to work through in my mind. I was also able to spend a lot of time with my roommates who were absolute angels on Earth and my dearest friends that I needed, and will always be friends to me. I was also able to realize that a place where it rains most of the year is not the place for me. And I can’t forget to mention that I learned a lot from the hospital I worked at.
When I left Washington, I already had my next job set up to begin the end of February in the California Bay Area. My best friend flew up to Washington after my contract ended and made the drive back home with me to Nevada. We stopped in Portland and saw some sights along the way. I had a month off to look forward to. Finally things would look up again! When I returned to Northern Nevada, I received discouraging news that my contract in the Bay Area had been cancelled. I cannot tell you how devastated I was when this happened, as the job I had set up was supposed to be a great opportunity. I also had housing set up in the Bay Area with another travel nurse, and we had already paid deposits and first month’s rent. At this point, I was still coming out of the fog of Washington, and then this horrible news lands so unexpectedly in my lap.
This is one of the cons of travel nursing. Jobs can get cancelled, contracts can fall through, and you are left with nothing. There isn’t paid vacations or a whole lot of job security with travel nursing. Aren’t travel nurses really needed? Wouldn’t it be easy to book another job? That’s what you would think, and that’s exactly what I thought when this was happening. I immediately submitted for another job in the Bay Area, and did not hear anything back after more than a week. So, I began talking to many different recruiters with many different agencies. I submitted for multiple jobs in the Bay Area over the next few weeks, and never heard back. In a the place of endless jobs, I was having no luck. I have all my certifications to back me up, my first travel job under my belt, and almost three years of experience. The problem was that I was one application falling into a pool of many applicants in the competitive California market. I was becoming so discouraged that I started applying for jobs in Las Vegas, where I was residing during most of this time. I already had a place to stay in Vegas, and I prepared to tell my roommate in California that she may need to find other housing. I just needed to find a job. It had been a month with no luck.
I cannot adequately express the amount of stress and anxiety I felt at this time. There were days it was hard to get out of bed because I felt so discouraged and quite frankly, depressed about things. I was being promised by multiple recruiters that I would find a job, that there were so many jobs available, yet week by week would go by with nothing. As much as I wanted to enjoy my vacation and my time out in Vegas, I couldn’t do that completely because I was wondering what my future would hold. I didn’t want to let my roommate in California down, and my eyes were set on where I wanted to go. I’m sure that there have been other travel nurses who have gone through this. I know I am relatively new at this travel nurse thing, but I had no troubles like this previously. For my first assignment, the manager of the hospital called me after a few days and hired me immediately. My original second assignment which fell through, the manager called me back after a few days. The on-boarding process for that assignment was so intense. I spent days studying for tests, taking classes, and doing what I had to do only to lose it all. I could have thrown in the towel and decided to go to a totally different place where there would be a job guaranteed for me, but I had my mind made up, and I didn’t want to end up in another situation like I was in Washington. I wanted to make sure my next experience would be good for me.
Travel nursing has a lot of perks, but it comes with a great deal of difficulties sometimes. Of course you are expected to hit the ground running and know what you are doing. In California, I feel this is even more true. The pay rates are higher, but the competition is too. The fact that I have my ACLS, chemo certification, and NIH stroke certification definitely made me look more marketable. But even with those certifications backing me up, I still had a hard time. It can be helpful if a travel agency you are submitting with has exclusive contracts with the hospitals you are submitting for because your application will be pushed ahead over others. I can say I learned a lot more about the travel nursing business through this rough experience.
Resuming where I was before, I was questioning if I was even meant go to to California in the first place. All of these roadblocks led to so much frustration and uncertainty. Just when I was about to give up, I was able to land a job in the Bay Area, finally! It was a day shift position which I was really adamant about because I was so drained from my last graveyard shift assignment. The manager was impressed with my resume, worked with my schedule, and it was much closer to my apartment than the last hospital would have been, and a higher pay rate. Things were coming together better than I could have imagined. I honestly couldn’t believe it at first and almost had fears it wouldn’t come to fruition after what had happened to me before. This was definitely a lesson in patience, but I am glad I did not back down. (I would like to note that this job was offered to be a few weeks before the Coronavirus became widespread.)
With that being said, I will address the massive elephant in the room which we can call the Coronavirus, or Covid-19. During most of my time off, up until the beginning of the March, I was residing in Las Vegas. Of course I was not working at this time, so most of my information about the Coronavirus was coming from news articles. I will be the first to admit that I had no idea the Coronavirus would end up being as serious as it has become. I wish I would have taken it more seriously from the very beginning.
I am currently in California where the infection rate is the second highest in the nation. The governor just announced yesterday that in the next week or two, half of California residents with be infected with Covid-19. We are beyond the “shelter in place” order now, and the governor is ordering citizens to stay inside unless absolutely necessary. We can go grocery shopping, pick up food and medications, and walk our dogs while maintaining the social distancing of six feet. When I left Nevada, every non-essential business was closed down. Casinos, nightclubs, bars, small businesses. I never ever thought I would see the day in history when the casinos closed down. I definitely understand why this is so crucial. The incubation rate of this virus is long, meaning that a person can have it and not know it and be spreading it to others. The incubation time is the time when a person is the most contagious.
I just want to thank all of the front-line healthcare workers (doctors, nurses, CNAs, respiratory therapists, etc.) for their hard work during this time. I have been checking on my nursing friends frequently, and every healthcare worker has been working long and hard to treat this new virus along with delivering care to every other patient. I am returning to work in a few days, and I am extremely nervous to be back on the floor after being off-duty for two months, especially with this pandemic going on. However, a big part of me is very excited to get back to work and grateful that I have the opportunity to help in such a critical time. I feel that I need to be out there again. However, it has been difficult being far from family and friends again with all of this going on.
I hope that everyone around the world is coping this okay. I know lives have been lost. Jobs have been lost. Businesses shut down. The world seems like it has turned upside down. There is a lot I can say about this situation. Stay safe, keep washing your hands, and definitely take part in following the rules so this can be contained. We need to think of the elderly, the immunocompromised and those who already have predisposing respiratory issues at this time and prevent the spread. Although I have been watching various news outlets, I have been sticking to primarily scientific sources for up-to-date information. During this time, I have chosen to stay away from social media since there is a lot of hysteria and different opinions floating around. I would like to keep my head as clear as possible and make sure I know accurate information before returning to work.
I know all of us have woken up at least a few days during this and thought “this is a nightmare that doesn’t have an end.” This cannot last forever. Although it may take a little while, things will look up. And I would like to think that some things will come out even better as a result. If anything, our perspectives on life. Things can change overnight, and we should never take anything for granted. Let’s all work to spread love and hope rather than fear and hysteria.
Happy New Year’s Eve everyone! Wow, another cycle around the sun. We made it! Although there have been moments in 2019 I thought I barely made it, and times I came out of situations looking and feeling like something the dog brought in and chewed up for a few hours. Life can’t be a picnic all the time, but it’s a wild ride.
This time last year I was actually with a group of friends in Vegas celebrating New Year’s on the strip with all the glitz and glam. I was excited for what was ahead in my life. I remember thinking 2019 would be my year. 2019 would be the year I finally leave and pursue my dream to become a travel nurse. I was still living in Nevada, of course, and still working at my old job as staff nurse, and I felt I was excelling in my career. I was training new nurses and working often as the team lead on the unit. I had recently become chemo certified, so I was often administering chemotherapy, and I was picking up a lot of overtime to save extra money and gain extra experience. I had my goal in mind. I knew I was going to leave by the end of the year, and I wanted to be prepared. I sacrificed sleep, some of my social life, and at times some of my sanity to make things work. Looking back, I am very glad that I did. Although I use the word “sacrifice”, I don’t like to think of things as sacrifices all the time. A person with a successful mindset does not see a sacrifice, but rather an opportunity to eliminate (be it temporarily or permanently) something out of your life that impedes you from your goals. Not all sacrifices are truly sacrifices.
Anyway, fast forward through the year. I worked quite a bit, but when the weather warmed up and I had stacked my vacation hours, I started to work less and enjoy life more. I took lots of trips to Vegas to visit my dear friend, I took a trip to Europe and visited five different countries, I enjoyed my time with friends back at home, saw a lot of concerts, hiked a lot of trails, and lived life to the fullest. During the winter I was on the grind, during the summer I was still on the grind, but not nearly as much, and I was totally okay with it. Sometimes we work hard to be able to relax later.
And then by the end of October, I was on my way to Washington for my first contract as a travel nurse. I finally did it! If you have read my first few blog posts, you probably remember me talking about my struggles with moving away and the tough transition I had moving to Washington, working graveyard shift, etc. The first month in Washington was very hard for me. The second month got better, and now I am going into the third month of the contract with a much more confident and positive outlook. I work a lot, and my schedule is all over the place. That is the main reason why I have not been writing on this blog as much. However, I do enjoy my job, I feel safe and valued at my job, I never feel like my nursing license is on the line, and I really do like the people I work with. I also love the house I live in and the roommates I live with, and I can’t speak highly enough about the food, coffee, and beauty of Washington (even if it does rain most days).
So, the golden question: Will I be extending my contract in Washington? The answer to the question sadly is a no. As much as I have come to love many things about Washington, there are a few key reasons why I will not stay. The main reason is working graveyard shift. I thought I could do it, but I can’t. It is really impacting my life, my mentality, and my physical health in a negative way. I am tired most of the time even when I do get enough sleep. My schedule has no consistency and so I do not have the luxury of having multiple days off to switch back to a semi-normal schedule. This was an amateur mistake I made when signing the contract, I did not specify that I wanted block scheduling (meaning I work my three 12 hour shifts together each week), so I am pretty much being scheduled to fill in the holes where they need people. Another reason why I chose not to stay is because the dreariness of the weather is really affecting my mood. The cloudy and rainy weather on top of working graveyard shift means I NEVER see the sun. That is not an exaggeration. Vitamin D deficiency is a real thing. I actually go to the tanning bed every so often just to get exposed to some light because I just feel so tired, groggy, and at times even a little depressed. I hear the weather significantly improves during the warmer months in Washington, and obviously there is more daylight hours in the spring and summer. I would really love to come back and experience Washington again during those times. There are so many things to do outdoors and beautiful sights to see. I have entertained the idea of taking another contract in Washington down the road in a year or so when the weather is better, but if that doesn’t happen, I still intend to come visit now that I know the area well enough!
So, where to next? I have not signed another contract at this time, but I am looking into going to California. Hopefully I will know within the next few weeks! My contract ends in Washington the end of January. I am actually back in my hometown as we speak visiting family and friends for a few days. It has been a great trip, and definitely wonderful to be back in sunny Nevada (even if there is some snow on the ground and it is still very cold.) Coming back to Nevada has been great, but it also has made me realize how glad I am that I took the leap of faith and left. I love my family and friends and the beauty of the high desert, but I never would have learned what I have learned or experienced what I have experienced if I did not leave. I don’t intend on stopping my travels anytime soon. I am really embracing and loving this nomadic, gypsy lifestyle even during the times I feel lonely and a bit homesick.
So, looking forward to 2020 there are a few things I see for myself that I’ve already started working on.
#1: More financial freedom. Obviously as a travel nurse, my pay has increased. However, in the process of making more, I have been spending less and learning how to wisely invest my money. I want to have the freedom to occasionally take a month or two off in between contracts and travel the world or spend time with my friends and family. I have been reading books and changing my mindset when it comes to success and making money. I am excited to see what will come of this.
#2. More time reading books and less time looking at my phone. As much as I love getting on instagram, seeing what everyone is doing and sharing parts of my life, I think that doing so in excess can be harmful. I catch myself scrolling mindlessly through my phone way too much. I think of all of the useful things I could be doing with that time, and how much more I could accomplish if I put the phone down a little bit more. So, I am going to read more books with a goal to read at least two books a month. I have already started this goal over the last few months and it is going well! I feel sharper, my vocabulary is ever-expanding, and I’m learning so much from the books I have been reading. And seriously, there’s nothing like curling up with a good book and a cup of coffee on a rainy day (since Washington has an abundance of rainy days.)
#3: Be nicer to people in general, spread kindness, and be nicer to myself. I feel like for the most part I am a kind person. I always try to keep an open mind, be empathetic, help others when I can, and refrain from being judgemental and critical of others. I am not perfect though. I want to continue to improve on this and go the extra mile everyday to spread kindness to others, even if it means striking up a conversation with a stranger, buying someone’s coffee, or making the extra time to talk with my patients or volunteer around the communities I work in. There is an abundance of kindness in this world, and we have the ability to spread it and share it. That also means being kind to yourself. This year I’m going to stop being so critical of myself, stop bashing my body and my looks, and stop harassing myself when I don’t always meet up to the impossible standards I set for myself. This is probably going to be the hardest thing I work at in 2020, but I know it is the most important thing. I am tired if putting myself in chains!
So, this is where I will wrap things up for 2019. Starting this blog has been one of the best things I did, even though only a few people may be reading it at this point, I am still glad I can share my experiences. I fully intend on making the time to write posts more frequently. I hope everyone has enjoyed the holidays whether you are near your loved ones or far from home. I am wishing everyone a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2020. Happy New Year!
I’m sitting here in the kitchen drinking a freshly brewed cup of coffee. It’s 11pm on a Friday night. Many people are at home in their beds, some people may be enjoying a night out with friends, and I’m sitting here in my nocturnal schedule pretending it’s the middle of the day. I can’t believe I’ve already been in Washington a little over a month now. The holiday season is in full swing now since Thanksgiving was yesterday. Back in my hometown it’s already snowing. Around this time of year I would be going to the state capitol Christmas tree lighting with friends, decorating the house and putting up the tree with family, maybe even snowshoeing in the mountains with my furry companion Athena. It is strange being away from home during this time of year for the first time ever. However, being away from home has taught me to find comfort with in myself and to make a home with the friends that I have been so fortunate to meet so far on my journey.
Yesterday I spent Thanksgiving with two of my roommates and a couple of friends. We all made dinner, hung out around the fire pit in the backyard, and enjoyed a few drinks. It was such a fun evening, and a Thanksgiving I will remember forever.
The first month living here in Washington was a hard adjustment. I wish I could say it was easy and everything went smoothly, but I would be lying. This is the first time I’ve ever moved away from my hometown, so changing my whole life so quickly was difficult. Switching from a day shift schedule to a graveyard shift schedule didn’t make anything easier… then you add the constant dreary weather to the mixture, and for a few weeks life seemed a little dark. For a little while I didn’t think it would get better. I thought something was wrong with me. Was I depressed? Did I make a huge mistake? How was I going to stay here for three months? I thought travel nursing was my dream, but so far it’s nothing like I thought it would be. I was having a small identity crisis.
But believe it or not, things got better. I can’t tell you the exact moment they did. I can’t tell you exactly how. I think part of the reason why everything seemed like such a mess and so out of place was because I was holding on to expectations of what I thought the experience should be rather than enjoying it for what it is. I didn’t realize that I would have such a tough transition and feel the things I felt, but then I finally let go and realized that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. It’s okay to feel stressed out, lonely, sad, confused, overwhelmed. I had to acknowledge these feelings but not let them overtake me. They were normal visitors that come into my life every so often, but they aren’t welcome for an extended stay. I had to put myself back in the moment… But I also had to acknowledge that things are going to keep changing, and I have to be ready to accept these changes.
So, naturally I started shifting into a normal routine, and I start to feel like this foreign place of Washington is my home. One of my favorite things about Washington is the coffee. Yes, Washington has made me a huge coffee snob. I make my coffee in a french press, grind my coffee beans everyday, and I can’t tell you how much different coffee I’ve tried in this last month. There is an abundance of amazing coffee here. One place I will suggest if you’re ever visiting Tacoma is Valhalla Coffee Co. They have several amazing blends of coffee roasted right here in Tacoma. I’ve had so much fun trying different little drive-thru coffee stands and different blends of coffee. People probably think Starbucks when they think of Washington, but I haven’t visited a Starbucks since I’ve been here.
The food here in Washington is amazing as well. Where I’m from, there isn’t a great variety of food and the food isn’t nearly as fresh as it is here in Washington. I’ve actually been so pleasantly surprised with all of the food I’ve tried here, and I’m not only talking about seafood. I have visited Seattle a few times, and I’ve made a trip to Pike Place Market which was fabulous. I ate so much food there that I wished by stomach were bigger so I could have more room because everything was so delicious.
And of course, I can’t forget to mention the natural beauty that Washington has to offer. Since it is cold outside, I haven’t been able to do as much as I’ve wanted to, but I’ve still enjoyed the scenery of the waterfront here in Tacoma and of course Point Defiance which is a beautiful park here in Tacoma. I will add some pictures to this post.
I have also adjusted well to my job as a travel nurse. The people I work with have been very nice to me. They have been helpful when I’ve had questions and very approachable. This has made my transition so much easier, and I have felt very welcomed at this hospital. Obviously, being a new travel nurse and working at a totally different hospital was overwhelming at first. I only got one orientation shift with another nurse on the floor, and then I was on my own. My second day on my own, I was floated to a different unit. Typically, at most hospitals, travel nurses are the first to float to different units. I’ve been floated almost more than I’ve actually worked on my assigned floor. My fear of floating to other units is pretty much behind me at this point, and I’ve learned so much from working in different areas. The hardest part is learning the charting system, the hospital’s protocols, and how things flow on each unit. Those things come with time. But the one thing I kept reminding myself is that I know how to be a nurse. I’ve been a nurse for a few years now. I’m confident in my skills to be a nurse, and I know I will do what is right for my patients. Being a nurse is the same everywhere you go.
So, there it is! The first month. Now that I’ve so-called made it past the hump, I’m really starting to enjoy my time here, and I look forward to the adventures ahead in the next two months. I actually just booked a trip to Vancouver B.C. in Canada in a few weeks. It’s about a three hour drive from me, and I’m really excited to explore! I’m going to visit Seattle again next week. I also will be coming home right after Christmas and staying through New Years to visit friends and family.
Things are looking up, and I’m excited to share more. Thank you for reading, and I’m wishing everyone a happy holiday season!
The first two photos were taken on a trail within Point Defiance. The third photo shows my mom and I at Kerry Park in Seattle. This is a good place to take pictures of the cityscape (best to go at dusk when the city begins to light up.) The last photo is taken at the waterfront in Tacoma between Ruston Way and Point Defiance.
Every journey begins with a single thought, then that thought snowballs into a plethora of ideas, and then ideas suddenly turn into action, and then (in this case anyway) you find yourself traveling to Washington with most of your life packed in the back of your Honda Fit.
And then a month goes by… and here we are. I have started working my first travel nurse assignment in Puyallup, Washington. Graveyard shift on a medical overflow unit. The nature of the job is what I am used to. Good old med-surg nursing… Essentially, it is the same everywhere. Graveyard shift was not my first choice and has definitely been an adjustment. I have been accustomed to day shift schedule for a little over a year. I worked graveyard shift for about a year and a half when I first became a nurse, but I suppose I coped with it better back then. Not to mention, my schedule was more regular, my working days were blocked together, and I usually had more than 3 consecutive days off in order to maintain a (somewhat) normal life. This time around, I am a traveler. I am filling in the holes where staff is needed. Had I known better, I would have specified in my contract that I wanted block scheduling to ensure that I would have more consecutive days off and more of a regular schedule. However, this was my first contract. I was overwhelmed from the beginning, and these were things I did not realize I needed to address. But as I always say, we live and we learn.
It was a tumultuous journey to make it here to Washington and even begin this travel nurse thing. I could probably write for days about the events that have transpired in my life over the last few months, but I will spare you the unnecessary details. Let’s just say I have been thinking of doing this travel nurse thing for a little over a year now. I had always planned to leave after my 25th birthday. Well, over the last few months I became very ill with bacterial bronchitis and sinusitis that lasted over two months and took two courses of steroids, an excessive use of my inhaler, and a long course of antibiotics to cure. On top of that, I had a surprise appendectomy a month before I left for Washington. All of that on top of finding a place to live, uprooting my entire life for the first time and leaving my hometown, and moving out of my old house and packing everything away in storage… well, it made for some stressful times. You would think all of these things might make me reconsider moving or at least postpone my plans, but I pushed through the obstacles and still ended up here. There was only one thing worse than leaving… and that was staying.
No, I didn’t hate my life in Northern Nevada. I didn’t hate my hometown, I wasn’t traumatized by heartbreak, and I didn’t have some unwavering desire to “find myself.” I just knew it was time for the next chapter in my life. I knew that there wasn’t more opportunity for me in Carson City. I knew that there was a big world open with endless possibilities. This could offer me a chance to grow in my career, to evolve as an individual, and to see many sights along the way. I actually love Nevada. I love my hometown, I love all of my family and friends. I really enjoyed my first nursing job at the hospital in town, and I was very comfortable and content with my life. But once you become content, you stop growing. I’m 25 years old. I am single. I have nothing holding me down. Now is the time.
The hardest part was leaving family and friends. Those are my people, my support system. I lived with my two best friends for the last couple years of my life. My mom and dad were always a five minute drive away. All of my friends were close by. Being so far from everyone now is different. I feel very distant even though I know they are always there. They just aren’t there in person. I was talking to a good friend of mine on the phone the other day telling him how much I miss home and everyone there. He tells me “Everyone will still be there when you go back. Carson City will still be there.” I found comfort in that thought, and I know it’s true. The best part about life is that it goes on… but sometimes the hardest part about life is that it goes on…
I thought about starting this blog from the very beginning of my travels. Even if no one really reads it, it’s kind of a way for me to type my thoughts out, make some realizations, and share my discoveries. I’ve been so busy the last month settling down that I haven’t gotten the chance to really sit down and get this thing started. But I knew it was time. I feel like I have so much more to say, but I lack the energy to type it all out tonight. I am actually working toward by BSN right now and have been doing homework for hours, and I just got back from a small trip to Vegas to escape the dreary Washington weather for a few days. I would definitely like to share more about my first month, my living situation, my adventures, and the nature of my new job in subsequent entries. But tonight, this feels like a good start. I will end with one of my all time favorite quotes by George Addair:
“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”
A picture from last week’s first adventure to Seattle, on top of the Space Needle. It was a beautiful and abnormally sunny day in Seattle! Mt. Rainier is even visible in the background to the right.
Travel Nurse Courtney 